wow.

Just because i'm in the other room,
it doesn't mean that i can't hear you.

Thanks.

Past.

Looking at things like this makes me miss you.
Our long nights of infitite boredom,
yet we somehow made fun in the midst of it all.
The days when you were upset.
Pouring out your feelings onto me like a broken faucet.
I miss those days.
We were perfect for each other, but i don't know why.
Different clothes,
different music.
Different friends.
Yet we had the same minds.
I could never understand that.

And then, after one night of too much bloodshed;
I told.
Thinking you would hate me forever,
I accepted the fact that we may never speak again.
I didn't care about saving our friendship,
I cared about saving your life.

I looked at my phone and saw it was you,
terrified that my ear would be done for after this conversation.
But you thanked me, you THANKED me.
I was astonished.
And you said you loved me.
And I said I loved you too.
Things were getting better, and I knew it.

Just a little while away from home,
bonding with others that were missing their families as well.
We talked every night,
but only for the maximun time limit.
I missed you,
but I knew things would improve.

You got back, and you were happy !
And I was happy.

Your phone was always ringing,
and it was always me on the other end.
And you never answered.
You said you were preoccupied with family,
that it was difficult with no one home to help during the day.
And I believed you.
But I called again, and you told me the same story.
And I believed you.

In the back of my mind,
somewhere deep within me,
I knew.
I knew you were lying,
out doing the things we used to do,
but with different people.
Pretending you cared about me when you really didn't.

Now we don't even talk.
You don't acknowledge me in the hallways,
unless I scream your name and you have to answer.
I thought we were more than this.
You said we would be together forever,
but what's happened to us now?
I have different friends,
you have different friends.

I just hope that they care even a fraction as much as i did.

Home.

I wish these days were as simple as summer, minus the heat.
Extreme cold seems to help numb the painful feelings
but doesn't completely remove them.
Staying outside away from the warmth helps,
but once inside and beginning to thaw out
emotions begin to unwravel just as they once had.
This environment isn't a stable one.
Like a family night full of fun and games,
but mine is the tower of jenga blocks.
No matter how careful you are everything breaks in the end.

i need more time,
and i just don't have it right now.

Liquids.

These nine hours were decent enoughthe closest things will get to sanity.
Not much progress was made in all honesty.
It feels as if this coven has been created for failure.
Not here, not now.
Please don't start again with these accusations.
Things can get better,I'll try more.
I swear.
Being forced to misery around company is bad enough.
Holding what they believe to be a smile,
when in reality it is but a grimace.
Not many can see the truth,
It's as if only the best can.

Holding back the stress until stripped away from all reality,
Waiting for the steam to wrap around this tensed body.
Water falling from your long black hair.
Every drop a stitch of pain taken away.

But we know these events are daily.
The noise, the ranting.
It goes on and on.
So once again you are covered in this majestic water.

The cycle will never stop.

Swollen.

Out lounging in the iced water on that mystical summer day, dunking heads under water like baptized children. Liquids fill into your cavities, stuck for days. Noises and voices are shaded away with crap erasers, lines and marks gone except for the smear of the 5 cent fixer.